Halloween, Horror and Pain

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Ironically as a pain sufferer, I am a sucker for horror films. In fact, although it turned out to be a big mistake, I went to see “Freddy Vs. Jason” the day before I had surgery to remove a damaged disc in my neck and replace it with a new one made of titanium.

Most classic horror films have become a familiar part of our lives, with a new sequel coming out every other year or so. Saw 6, with its own unique blend of moral and psychological terror, opened recently although to smaller box office than earlier Saw films. Although the Halloween series seems to have run its course, Michael Myers is still a vital member of our horror culture, as are Freddy Krueger and Old Leatherface.

It is not that hard to understand our perverse fascination with merciless, mindless killers who chase us through the night to stab us, chop off our limbs, or carve us up with knife-blade fingers. The terror of fighting for life in a maze of darkness and death is compelling especially when we can still hope that one or two of the heroes will make it out alive.

But the fear of pain is worst of all. The right torture can crack the toughest tough guy. Even James Bond looks worried as the laser beam approaches his crotch in “Goldfinger.” We all still wince when we recall the dental scene in “Marathon Man.” And then the needles and electrodes move closer and closer Han Solo in “The Empire Strikes Back,” we could feel his pain as well as that of his friends who were forced to listen and imagine what was happening.

Part of the horror of slasher films is the fact that they show us pain and horror that we cannot really understand. The kind of pain associated with receiving multiple stab wounds while taking a shower at the Bates Hotel is not comprehensible in any real way. Even the pain of childbirth is kindly blotted out from our memories just a few weeks after the event. But we all have just enough understanding of pain to empathize while Alien takes his first bite at your leg.

In honor of Halloween, here is my Top 10 horror stars of all time (to date!):

10. Damien in the Original “The Omen” - Maybe the smallest bad boy in horror history, Damien hits the big time when he pushes his mom over the banister with his trike.
9. Dracula in “Dracula” - My favorite from the kindler, gentler days of horror films. Although evil to the core, it’s hard to resist his dark charm and that really neat cape.
8. Jason in “Friday the 13^th” - Summer camp will never be the same since Jason romped among the cabins killing off the beautiful but bratty teen residents.
7. Old Leatherface from “The Texas Chain Saw Massacres” - Garden tools have never been the same after this genre classic, which even rated a remake in 2003.
6. The Alien from “Alien” - Even through the original and three sequels, this guy still haunts my best nightmares.
5. Chucky from “Childs Play” - OK, I was wrong; Chucky is the smallest, and maybe the baddest, of the ax-wielding youngsters in film.
4. Norman Bates in “Psycho” - Well, to be fair, I should list Mrs. Bates instead of Norman. But since he plays both roles, the shower-scene slasher gets the nod.
3. Hannibal Lecter in “Silence of the Lambs” - It is Hannibal’s intelligence that makes him so darn scary. His taste for blood is unique in the genre.
2. Freddy Krueger in “A Nightmare on Elm Street” - Freddy is special because of his positive attitude about his work. He’s one of the few serial slashers who always has a snappy comeback to every scream.
1. Michael Myers in “Halloween” - He’s tall, dark, silent, and really persistent, coming back through 9 sequels and remakes and still trying to make his “point.”

So on Halloween, it’s fun to get a little scared. Enjoy the thrills that can’t hurt you in real life.

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